They say that do to unto others as you would like them todo to you. This is not at all a bad piece of advice but it does not factor in the kind of people you are likely to run into. You see, the world is a mix of all sorts. Which means that you are as likely to come across as someone who is good as they are bad and you cannot let your mind sway to the opinion of others. When you think of it, one of the most difficult situations that you have to deal with is judgmental people. You may think; do plain facts have to be bitter, always? But the fact is that judgmental people are not even dealing with facts but rather a version of what they believe to be the truth. It is almost being punished for what you are and this is really bad.
It is almost as bad as being blamed for something you did not do and how you learn to do with this. If anything it is worse because you are not being blamed for something that you did not do but for being who you are. Like it is vital to learn from the important life lessons from Dalai Lama, it is equally important to learn how to deal with judgmental people.
Look deep at the person passing judgment: Instead of reacting to everything who is passing a judgment on you, we suggest that you look deeper. In most instances, you will realize that judgmental people are the way they are because they have some deep-rooted issues. Once you get a handle on why the person is being judgmental, it would be easier for you to understand why they are doing it. This will turn your resentment and negativity towards the person into understanding, which will diffuse the situation. In fact, you can take a step forward and help the person deal with the deeper issues so that they are not judgmental anymore.
Talk about your concerns: It would be a good idea to express your concern to the person being judgmental. The best approach would be take the person aside and talk to them at a private level. Present your side of the situation to them in a calm and pleasant manner. This way you have the chance to convince the person to give up their rigid stance and become open to others’ point of view. Make sure that you do not raise your voice or approach the matter in a truculent manner. Often, your calm demeanor would be enough to make the other person feel embarrassed and listen to what you have to say.
Do not take the situation personally: One of the most important defenses you can develop when dealing with judgmental people is not to take the situation personally. This is not going to be easy as criticism always feels personal and expose raw nerves. However, the important thing to remember is that the judgment in these situations is about the person passing the judgment and not really about you. In many instances, people passing judgments do so and focus on issues they do not like about themselves. It is more to do with them than with you.
Be firm but polite: You have to realize that though you have done all you can in dealing with judgmental people, there is a chance that you still may not get your point through. In such instances, you will need to make sure that you will still deal with the person in a gentle but firm manner. You can tell the person that while you understand that while he or she is entitled to their opinion, you would appreciate it if they could keep it to themselves. They may not like this but you have to make a point to say it for the sake of your ego and self-respect.
Remember that behind every bully stands a coward: You have to remember something very important when dealing with judgmental people. The fact is that people passing judgment on others are unhappy people and they are projecting their unhappiness on others. And many people who do this are bullies of a kind. The important factor to remember about bullies is that they are basically cowards. By this conclusion, you have to remember that they judge others because they don’t want to be judged themselves. A little bit of dignified dialogue can go a long way to mitigating their concerns and make them less judgmental.
However, the key to learning how to dealing with judgmental people is to be happy and confident about yourself. In fact, we would say that this is the foundation stone of all your future endeavors. Be happy about what and who you are