Maria was a quiet young lady who had just joined a new college. She was from a small town where she enjoyed a lot of popularity being a nice girl with a sense of humor and a kind heart. She was thrilled to be in the city taking up her higher studies but in her heart of hearts, she was reeling under apprehensions about how she was going to fit in. Though she knew that she was above average in looks, Maria felt she lacked fashion sense and was not confident about the way her hair was done.
As she walked into the common hall where all the new students were supposed to gather to get their course schedules and room allocation, she had to control the way her whole body was shaking. She looked around, saw all those confident and lovely faces who seemed to be so sure of themselves, and started to feel even worse. When it was her turn to pick up the details, she could barely get the words out and wanted to get away from there as soon as possible. However, even as she turned to rush back, she found herself running into another young lady, who just like herself had come to pick up her course schedule and room allocation. On looking at the person who she had bumped into, Maria started to feel worse than ever before.
The girl was tall, slim, blonde, pretty and very fashionably turned out ( at least to Maria’s eyes) but one close look at her eyes revealed that she too was as apprehensive as Maria was. On seeing that Maria calmed down and had the presence of mind to smile, say sorry and introduce herself. The other girl also seemed to relax, smiled back, and introduced herself as Tina. Something made Maria hang back for a few seconds and her wait was rewarded when she realized that Tina would be sharing a room with her.
However, she was still a bit apprehensive about sharing space with someone so gorgeous and together. As she proceeded to settle in her room, Tina also walked in and simply plonked herself on the bed with a sigh. At first, Maria did not know what to say but she soon asked her about the preference for bed placement and they got talking. As she talked with Tina, she realized that Tina seemed to be full of admiration for how nice Maria was being.
The days ahead taught Maria a lot about why she had an inferiority complex and how she could deal with it.
Here is what she learned in seven simple steps:
Learn why you feel inferior: In this case, Maria realized that her complex came from not having enough exposure to the world beyond her immediate one. To overcome this, she took the first step by getting to know one of her new classmates, which eased out things for her in the days to come.
Realize that others may have it too: Once she got to know Tina a little bit, she realized that Tina like her was also apprehensive but in a different way. Tina was scared that she might not be nice or smart enough to be accepted by the crowd there though she was not at all apprehensive about the way she dressed or looked, which was the case with Maria.
Know that you have something to offer: Once Maria realized that Tina was drawn to her due to the warm and friendly personality she had, Maria started to feel that she too had something to offer people here. As time passed and people got to know Maria, she always had friends flocking around her.
Work on the defects: Maria realized that being out of her comfort zone made her uncomfortable and that was what was making her so apprehensive about starting college. She had to start working on how to stay calm in stressful situations so that this could be dealt with.
Seek positive feedback: Another important lesson that Maria learned during her first few days in this new city and college was that she should seek the company of people who would give her positive feedback rather than those who put her down. This was very important, as Maria had to stop keeping in touch with a few old friends who would often question her ability to cope in this new place making her feel inadequate.
Let some flaws be: This is something that most people realize as they grow that some aspects of our person and personality cannot be changed and the best way to move forward is to accept them and get on with life.
Live in the moment at all times: Since moving to a new place and environment with new people was a difficult move, the way Maria could deal with all her complexes was to live in the moment and do what felt right in the given situation.