Have you ever attended a party where you lurked around with a glass in hand waiting for the celebrations to be over so that you can make your escape? Or have you looked on with envy as a colleague who joined on the same date as you did mingled with the crowd whereas you wished for powers of invisibility? We are sure that we have all looked on with envy and resentment at people who seem to have the art of having a good conversation without seeming to make much effort. Not being able to be a good conversationalist can affect your chances in life both socially as well as in official situations. We are not talking about being the life of the party but being able to have a good conversation going when you are in a gathering.
We Will Tell You About How To Be The Life Of Any Gathering By Learning To Be A Good Conversationalist With A Few Examples Thrown In The Form Of Stories:
Looking good and smelling good: Frank had gone to an office party in an organization that he had joined three months ago. He was fairly confident that he would have a good time at the party but unfortunately he had the poor judgment of going for a strenuous workout just before the party and had skipped the shower due to paucity of time. He would feel very conscious of not smelling as fresh as he should have whenever someone of the opposite sex approached him to talk to him. This made him very hesitant when it came to mingling with larger groups. From this example you would have probably gathered that being a good conversationalist is about being confident and this comes from looking good and smelling nice.
Knowing what topics work and having interesting trivia: Mandy had gone to an office party confident in being one of the best analysts in the firm and in the way; she could keep the conversation going. After all, she was known to lead the conversation when it comes to discussions about the analysis of the latest firm that was being taken over. But she was shocked when in the party, people would simply leave her side as soon as she started talking about the latest balance sheet she had analyzed. She was even more shocked to see Sandi, the research assistant having a crowd around her all the time where everyone seemed to be in splits at all times. When she meandered closer to the group, she realized that Sandi was talking about the latest trends in hair and makeup. Even as Mandy shook her head in derision, she found herself laughing over one of the funny stories that Sandi related on her roommate’s foray into hair color at home. You can surmise from what we have described above is that part of being a good conversationalist is knowing what conversation would work in a given situation and having a good sense of humor.
Be a good and active listener: When Colin joined the party given by his office colleague on the eve of his engagement; he realized that even the dullest people in his office were having a better time than him. This is because most of them listened well and actively; they would nod, smile and generally show animation with their changing expressions as others spoke. They even gained a bit of audience by adding their own two pence to the conversation. Yes, that is the point we are trying to make here – learn to be an animated and genuine listener as this will make you a better conversationalist.
Articulate and clear: Pamela was a pretty girl and a smart one too, which is why friends as well as her dates enjoyed hanging out with her. But when it came to larger gatherings, Pamela would notice that people would leave her side and move on. She did not understand why this was so until one of her close friends told her that she had the habit of speaking in a very low voice that was often difficult to catch unless they were used to her voice. This lesson for being a good conversationalist is pretty evident; you have to ensure that you use the right pitch, volume, and modulation when speaking with a larger group of people. This will ensure that people do not have to ask you to repeat yourself or strain to hear what you are saying.
The points we have given here are pretty obvious and simple but it is something that we may not realize as we rarely see ourselves as others would, doing which would really help. Using all these points can come in handy as part of effective behavior management strategies as well as to manage conversations.