What if we told you that we have the secret to always being a winner? Would you think that we are lying or exaggerating or leading you on? We would not blame you if you thought that way. After all, how can anyone always emerge a winner in every battle they pick? Is it possible to do that? The more you think about this the more incredible and impossible it will seem to you. However, the fact is that it is possible to win every battle you participate in as long as you pick them with care, but it is not easy to do this. In fact, picking the right battles can be very difficult.
What do you mean by picking the right battles?
This is something that can be better understood with the help of an example:
Maria was a working mother who managed work, home, two kids and mother-in-law living at home. She found that she needed all her family members to cooperate and work with her to ensure that the house ran well. She depended on her husband to pick up groceries, she depended on her mother-in-law to do chores around the home like laundry etc. and she relied on her older son to help his younger sister with homework.
What is more, due to some health related issues, the doctor had advised Maria to go for a walk for half an hour daily. This meant that she needed all the members of the family to work in tandem to ensure that everything was in place. The thing was though Maria’s mother-in-law was very cooperative and understanding about most things, she had declared that she would not help out with breakfast. She, Emily insisted that she needed her mornings free to practice Yoga and meditation. While Maria found this to be a bit unreasonable, and wanted to use the same time in the morning to go for a walk, she did not argue. She knew which battle was more important – the fact that her mother-in-law was at home to oversee the kids when they came home school was more important than her serving breakfast to them in the morning.
Keeping this in mind, Maria would get breakfast for the whole family in the morning. She even packed lunches for everyone and loaded the washing machine while her mother-in-law went out to the garden for her meditation and Yoga session. Though Maria felt that it would really help if her mother-in-law did all these things in the morning while she, Maria went for a walk, she decided to keep quiet given the other things that her mother-in-law did for her, her husband and her kids.
The simple compromise that Maria came up with was to walk during her lunch break instead. The thing is Maria really knew how to pick her battles and this way she managed to keep the delicate balance of her household going without any hitch. Her quiet acceptance of the situation made her husband look at her with gratitude and even her mother-in-law was heard remarking that she liked it that Maria understood her need for some time on her own. It all worked for everyone in the household because Maria knew that reaching high is only possible when you are connected with your roots, which in this case was understanding the needs of others in the family.
When it comes to the major decisions of your life and the choice of which battle to choose, it may not be as simple as the example we have given here, but the general idea behind must be clear to you. In any case, we give below some of the points that you need to think through when you have to decide which battle to pick:
Give thought to what is at stake if you give in: Many times, we do not give up something that we are particular about just due to ego. If you are completely honest with yourself, then this would become clear to you. When you feel that the only thing to lose by giving in to certain aspects is a small dent to your ego, then you know that it is better to give in.
Weigh one battle against the other: Often the question that you should ask yourself is whether you would rather win the complete war or a mere battle? This is not something that is easy to think about and figure out but as you start thinking on these lines, you will find even such complex aspects of life becoming clear to you.
Accept that flexible does not mean weak: Nature has often provided you the valuable lesson that simply because you are flexible does not mean that you are weak. In fact, in many a situation being flexible is more a sign of strength than weakness.