Have you ever come across a friend or acquaintance who goes on for hours about how perfect her or his relationship is? Here, let us be frank; these sort of people can really irk you and make you feel inadequate. The fact is, the minute you start feeling irritated resentful of such a person and their perfect relationship, this feeling is chased by one of feeling mean and small minded. This feeling may not sit comfortably with you and you may end up feeling even worse.
Is It Normal To Have Doubts In A Relationship?
Okay, so let us tell you a dirty little secret – it is normal to have doubts in a relationship. Yes, people do have doubts about themselves as well as the other person when they are in a relationship. It is only those people who are able to live with these doubts and want to be in a relationship in spite of these doubts are those who are in workable relationships. If someone comes up to you and says that they have never had a doubt about their relationship are either lying to themselves or too shallow to think at all.
The thing is relationships are a lot of work and this has to be from both the parties. Sometimes one or the other party involved may be withdrawn or not that invested in the relationship and this could cause the relationship to become shaky. It is possible that the doubts in a relationship could come about due to a third party being involved in the relationship. There are many factors that could make one or both people in a relationship have doubts about it and there is nothing wrong with this.
Let us tell you a small story: Mike and Patricia were a couple who had been together from a long time. In fact, they had been together for six years, two of which they had spent as a live-in couple. Suddenly the whole thing took on a new angle when Mike got a new job in an animation company. The work was a whole lot of fun; the whole team was younger and lively. Mike would soon come back home with tales of how much fun he had at work. Patricia was happy to see him enjoying himself and would often wait for his anecdotes from work.
Patricia worked as a doctor in the emergency ward and her job had always been of a more serious nature. As time passed, Patricia met many of Mike’s colleagues and one of them was stupid enough to remark on how weird a couple Mike and Patricia were. She even went as far as to say that they had nothing in common. At that time, Patricia pretended to laugh with others, but that remark stayed in her mind.
Soon she started viewing her relationship with Mike with an eye for their differences. Doubt would raise its ugly head whenever Mike looked indifferent or angry at anything she said. Soon Patricia would present a more animated and fun face to Mike. In the beginning, Mike did not notice anything amiss. But soon the forced gaiety in Patricia started to irk him. One of the reasons that he loved Patricia was because of her serene, serious and restful nature, which provided a great frame for his ebullient nature.
He discussed this with one of his friends, who had the temerity to point out that the changes in Patricia could be due to the fact that she is hiding something. After initially denying that this could be the case, Mike soon came to the conclusion that his friend did have a point. He too started having doubts about their relationship and this started showing in the way he behaved at home. Things would have taken a big slide downwards if not for an unfortunate incident that actually turned fortuitous for them.
Patricia had an accident while driving back from her hospital on slippery roads one night. The minute Mike heard the news, the first thought that came to his mind was whether Patricia was alive. Once he was assured that she was alive except for a fracture to her arm, he realized that he did not care even if Patricia was having an affair, all he wanted was her to be well. Patricia was also relieved to see him at the hospital and nothing could hide her feelings on seeing him.
On those long nights and days that he spent with her, Mike realized what had happened. He was glad to realize that the time had to make changes and maybe even work on the important life lessons from Dalai Lama, but before that it was time to clear the air. He confessed his conclusions while Patricia told him about her doubts. Each realized that what and who they were was what made the relationship in spite of the doubts they had.