Sometimes relationships do not go the way they are supposed to and this can leave you off balance. One of the things that most people are ill prepared to deal with is when they get the silent treatment from their partner. One would almost think that dealing with an angry and aggressive partner would be tougher than dealing with something as passive as the silent treatment, but that is simply not true.
While anger and aggression are emotions, albeit negative, the silent treatment on the other hand shows indifference, which is tougher to handle than as it shows that the other person does not even consider you worth talking to or consider you worthy of acknowledgement. Most times, the silent treatment can become so difficult to take that people end up saying sorry even though they know they are not in the wrong. Since apologizing for something that you did not do is in essence empowering the wrong behavior pattern of the other person, you are in essence giving him or her the means to get their own way the next time you have a disagreement.
Dealing With Silent Treatment In Your Relationship
First step – getting to know why the silent treatment: The thing to realize is that the person who is giving you the silent treatment may have a point but is taking it to extremes. The thing is even the silent treatment is a form of abuse. The thing about abuse is that one needs to understand that it all stems from the abuser’s need to control things around them. Maybe they do not consider what they do as irrational and this is what fuels their conviction in doing what they are doing. Plus, they enjoy punishing others for the imagined slights that you have inflicted on them. What is more, they like being the center of attention no matter what and when a situation comes about that takes your attention away from them, they will punish you by giving you the silent treatment. What is more, they do not have to bother with the energy for an open conflict that they fear anyway.
The role of the victim: In case you feel that, you are really slipping into the role of the victim like getting depressed and start pouting, and then you know this is a behavior that has to go. The thing is there is no quick or easy fix to this but you can chip away at it till things improve. This way things will improve and you will be able to make the most of these underrated pleasures in life like peace at the end of the day.
Start with yourself: One of things that you have to do to move away from this pattern of behavior is becoming more of yourself. This way you do not need the validation of someone else to feel good. That being said, you will have the strength of will to deal with the silent treatment in the best way possible. Start by telling the person that you do not like this silent treatment and since they are not willing to talk things out, you will simply do things that you think are right. If they disagree with you, they can come out and say so. Another thing to do is show them that you are not uncomfortable with the silence from their side. Do not try to guess what the other person is thinking as this is not something that is possible. Another important thing that you need to be careful about is not apologizing when you know you are not wrong, because that is what the person giving you the silent treatment wants you to do.
Though this may seem like the wrong thing to do and should only be done when you know you are not going to be harmed in any way, is to confront the person by accentuating the situation. This may result in the other person becoming angry but it will jolt them out of their complacence and set behavior patterns.
You can also offer a solution to this situation and you will be surprised that the other person actually likes the fact that you are taking charge of providing the solutions. The thing is you will need to be patient and hold on your sense of self worth and confidence when dealing with such a situation. The one thing that you have to take care in this whole situation is that you are not inadvertently feeding this behavior of the person who is giving you the silent treatment.
As we said earlier, these things and the solutions to them could take a certain amount of time and patience and will depend on your willingness to work at making things change. But the thing is it is possible to make things better and you should always remember that.