Sometimes, marriages just don’t work and this is one of the main reasons for divorce. While we all know and accept this and in some extreme cases, even find relief in this, it is never easy. A divorce essentially means that you are giving up on your relationship with someone whom you had considered worth making your life partner at one time. There is no taboo to getting divorced and in today’s world, nobody is judged for being divorcee but still we know that any breakup and that too something as definitive as divorce has many far-reaching implications.
In this article, we are going to look at the psychological effects the divorce of parents can have on the children involved in the family. This is a very sad aspect to the whole proceeding but one that cannot be ignored. Here are some of the ways children may react due to the psychological effects that a divorce could have on them:
Psychological Effects Of Divorce On Children
Feeling rejected: No matter how well the parents communicate with the children about the reasons for their divorce, in most cases, the children start feeling rejected. Children are basically insecure beings who draw from the feeling of security from their parents. When the very fabric of this security starts coming apart due to the divorce, there is a good chance that the children feel that they are responsible for what is happening. This feeling may lead to a feeling of rejection and thereon dejection. In most cases, children in this situation will react one or the other way. They may try to act out their frustration and feeling of rejection by behaving very badly. This could take on the form of rude behavior, fights with others, not concentrating on their schoolwork, taking to bad habits or even in some cases extremely violent behavior. In a few cases, the child or children in question will try and put on their best behavior in the hope that this will mitigate things and thereby prevent the divorce from happening.
Being indifferent: Once the acting out stage is over and when the child or children involved, see that their behavior has not resulted in preventing the divorce, they may cover up their feelings of rejection by showing extreme indifference. This psychological fallout of divorce is probably the most dangerous as parents sometimes mistake this for acceptance. What is more, they themselves are in no position to be good at judging the situation since they are going through the divorce, this makes their judgment even worse.
Taking sides: Most divorces are not pleasant and this does make the parents in question behave in a manner that is less than acceptable. Moreover, there is also the question of who gets custody and deciding on visitation schedules, which makes things worse. In many cases the parents inadvertently leads them to force the children to take sides. Sometimes parents even make the mistake of exposing their need to be chosen as the favorite parent. This can make the child feel confused and have nightmares. In addition, children can also be pretty canny in turning the situation to their own advantage by resorting to making demands that would normally not be fulfilled. Soon the children are also fighting among themselves and taking sides.
Complete feeling of abandonment: In many cases, one or both the divorced parents may decide to become part of another relationship. When children have not had the benefit of proper counseling and care during the process of divorce, such as situation can lead the child or children in question to feel completely abandoned.
While in many cases, divorce may be the right choice for the couple in question, you need consider the effects that this will have on children when they are also part of the equation. It is best that the news of the divorce is given to the children in a calm and planned manner with both parents being present. It is also a good idea to have some therapy going and form a support group like family friends and the extended family to ensure that the psychological fall-outs of the divorce are dealt with.
Both parents need to join hands in this regard, which is ironic as this is the very occasion that they have decided not to be life partners any more. However, the thing that the couple in question have to remember is that though cease to be husband and wife, their role of parents continues. That is why this situation needs to be addressed and handled with the utmost care. Doing this will ensure that even if they are looking back at the past, they will at least not do it with regret about this.
There are many aspects to the psychological impact that a divorce will have on the children involved and that is why it is decision that needs to be taken with utmost care and a lot of thought.