Are you one of those people who feel that life has just passed them by? It is not wrong to feel that and most of us do at one point or another but if this is a constant feeling then you should read this article and find out how to feel in full control of your life. I am going to tell you mini stories to let you know how many people I know have faced situations that felt as if things were out of control and took steps to correct the situation.
The story of Jim and Calista: This is a couple who had money problems that seemed to never end. Their income was low and their expenses were high. The problem was not just that; it was the fact that they were trying to keep up with their friends who happened to be well off. Things came to a head when they had bill collectors at their door asking for money in the middle of one of their get-togethers with friends. As soon as their friends realized what was up, most of them left for home and never came back. Those who chose to still remain friends with Jim and Calista, sat them down and made them take a good look at their finances. They helped them budget, cut down unnecessary expenses and even lent them money to back some of the most pressing debts.
The lesson that Jim and Calista learned from this situation was:
You may not be always be able to control what you earn but the thing you can control is your spending and you should do that
Spending to make a show for social status is waste; true friends will stay with you no matter what.
It does not matter how much have, but what matters is how you use it.
The story of Bernice and Blake: This couple had everything going for them; nice careers, a good bank balance, good looks and health, a house of their own and also a good social circle. Why then is their story being told, you ask. It is simple; they had been married for 8 years and could not have kids. You see, Blake had had a childhood illness that meant that he could never father a child. The couple had been devastated when they got the news, but Bernice soon reconciled to the news and started to talk about adopting a child, but Blake could not simply reconcile with the news. He spent days brooding about it and started to feel depressed. Soon things became worse when Blake started cheating on Bernice with a colleague of his, Mia. Blake knew that he had sunk really low when he started secretly planning on a week away with Mia to consummate the relationship and Bernice in all her innocence showed him forms that needed to be filled for adoption. At that point, Blake realized that he had lost control of things and the one thing he wanted was to spend his life with Bernice. He broke down and confessed the whole thing to Bernice. She was heartbroken but soon she found the strength to forgive him. They took couples counseling and soon started enjoying their family life after adopting not one but two children.
The lessons that you can learn from this situation are:
Never seek solace outside for problems within as that will only make things worse and could even spoil things in your current relationship
There are some things you cannot change and instead of trying to change them, take control of the situation by changing your attitude.
The story of Robert: Robert is a friend of mine who had decided that life was better off when he is single and that is the way he wanted to stay. That is a good thing if that is what you really want but in the case of Robert, it obviously was not. He craved the company of other people and that is why he would simply head for a friend’s house. He would insist on spending time with his married friends until late at night. Most of his friends’ circle and their spouses loved having him but they felt that his intrusion on their life was resulting in loss of privacy and those couples who had kids found the late nights on weekdays an intrusion. Soon, people were making excuses for not having him over. Robert could feel things slipping away from him and soon he found himself all alone and pretty lonely. It was only when his sister gently sat him down and explained that the only reason he was the way he was and losing control of his life was because he was forcing his bachelor lifestyle on others even when they were married and had different lives of their own. Robert decided that it was time to stop the enforced bachelorhood and start looking for someone to spend his life with.
The lessons that you can learn from this story are:
It is okay to choose a lifestyle if that is what you want but it is wrong to force it on others.
The way to have control your life is by handling things in a mature manner and not enforcing things on others.
Think things through before you make a choice for your lifestyle so that things do not go out of control.
As you can see taking control of your life is mostly about taking control of your mind and your thinking and not about controlling what others do. In case you feel I want to stop being negative but can’t see anything good about things around me, then look for the solution within and not outside.