Life is for living not for existing or life teaches you lessons that no college or schools can… these are just some of the clichés that people use when they talk about life. However sometimes these clichés can really irk you especially more so when life has just delivered one of its many blows as it is wont to do. However when you look around you, you will find that people who have been dealt with the equal amount of and almost the same type of blows have come out of it with different perspectives. That is the case with even with best friends or even siblings who can go through the same experiences but come out behaving differently.
Take the case of my two friends Linda and Carol who both dated army guys. Both of the girls had attended the same courses in college and even gotten jobs at the same level in a law firm. They had met their beau at the same time. In fact, both the guys were also best friends and they seemed to fall in love with Linda and Carol at the same time. In fact, when you come to think of it both Linda and Carol even look the same; both of them being slim, tall blondes and the one difference being that Linda has green eyes and Carol has blue eyes.
Well, to take the story further, both the couples double dated for quite a while and soon were talked of as the golden couples in our group of friends. After all, we are talking about two handsome men dating two pretty girls. When the couples announced their plans for a double wedding date to take place in a couple of months, none of us was surprised. We all waited eagerly for the wedding, but as you know, life can sometimes be cruel. Both the guys were killed in a freak road accident. The news left the whole group of friends devastated but you can imagine what it did to Linda and Carol.
They were grief stricken and heartbroken; friends and family gathered around to support them. For the months that followed, both were incapable of doing even the most normal of things. Soon, we started observing some changes in the girls. Linda seemed to withdraw into herself and become quieter than before while Carol went out of her way to seek some ways to alleviate her grief by taking up some voluntary work with road accident survivors.
After about six months, Carol started dating a lawyer from her firm while Linda was still single. One could clearly see that the loss of her fiancé had made Linda bitter and cynical. That was not the case with Carol who was determined to not only live her life but also do her bit for helping others.
As is with the case with friends we all drifted apart as life took us in different directions. Carol stayed in touch with most of us and we knew that she had married and had two children and was flourishing in her career. Though we tried to keep in touch with Linda, she drifted away and we did not know much about what was going on in her life.
When our whole class met for the 15th reunion, we requested Carol to attend and bring Linda along. To say we were shocked when we saw Linda would be an understatement; she looked at least 15 years older than her age and this was seen in stark contrast as Carol managed to look very radiant and young in spite of the passage of time. Once we had gotten over our initial shock, we spent a lot of time catching up.
It was soon apparent, that Linda had simply not moved on and was still stuck in a bitter shell that was touching every part of her life. She was single, working in some temporary jobs and seemed to have no friends at all. All of us, especially Carol, were disheartened to see a life go waste in such a manner. After a quick discussion, it was decided that we would all do our part to help Linda get out of bitter and sad trap she had fallen into.
It was almost as if she was saying I want to change my life but really don’t know how to start, and we wanted to help her. Just looking at her life gave us some valuable lessons, which I am sharing here:
Life is full of pitfalls, don’t let them affect you permanently
If possible help others in the same situation as this will help you too
Move on as life is for living not wallowing in grief
If you want your life to work out, you have to do something about it
Your strength is in accepting and moving on not in hanging on to bitterness
By being bitter and cynical the only person affected is you and nobody likes such people