It is a fact of life that cheaters tend to cheat as it comes naturally to them. It is but natural that when you find out that you are being cheated on, then you are devastated. But once you are over the shock and come to grips with the pain, the next thing that most women do is start thinking about ways to rectify the situation. The thing that pops in mind is to probe on what made your man cheat and then we start thinking of ways to get him back.
But you need to stop and realize that men who are cheaters will always cheat. It has nothing to do with being dissatisfied or being bored. It is a flaw in their character which lets them believe that cheating is acceptable. Having an affair is never normal or healthy when you are having relationship issues. In fact they are aberrant reaction to what are the normal ups and downs of any relationship.
The first thing to do is to stop putting yourself through the wringer or giving in to awkward displays of emotions that women in this state are prone to. Try to be dignified and also consider getting out of the relationship and look for someone more deserving of you.
Avoid these common mistakes:
Digging deep into the matter: Once a woman finds out that her man is cheating on her, she goes into a mode of digging deeper. This means listening in on calls, checking out mails, asking questions to your partner and expending energy on a relationship that is no longer working. The fact is if you feel he is cheating and things are wrong, then there is no point looking for proof. Doing all this will only make you feel worse and you will lose what is left of your sanity. It will seem like you are losing your mind.
Blame it on the other lady: If your man is cheating on you, your natural inclination maybe to blame the woman he is involved with. But don’t you see how pointless that is? It is your man who made a commitment to you and not the woman he is cheating with. What is the point in blaming somebody who is not part of your relationship. Instead of focusing your wrath on the other woman, you need to focus on the who has wronged you – your man. Even if this particular woman wouldn’t have been on the scene, it is likely that a man whose inclination is to cheat will find somebody else to have an affair with. It is pointless to blame the woman in question
Thinking about making changes to keep things going: If your partner is cheating then you should definitely not be thinking of keeping him in your life. It is not just about this affair; it is about the way he thinks. It shows his way of dealing with problems. Even if he promises to change his ways there is no guarantee that he will not do it again. It does not matter if you make efforts to make yourself more attractive or change your ways or make your relationship spicier, if he wants to cheat he will. The thing to realize is that it is not your fault that he cheated and it does not mean that you are inadequate due to his cheating. In fact it reflects poorly on him and his way of thinking. The fact is you did not make him cheat in the first place but you cannot stop him either.